Erin Barbossa, licensed clinical social worker
In the fitness industry where the message is FASTER, STRONGER, HARDER, HEALTHIER, it's a risk to say "you are enough." I know that YOU ARE ENOUGH- each and everyday. Sharing words from a therapist, Erin Barbossa, that might help on those days / years when goals aren't being met. Thanks for reading ~Carol
If you believe that everything you strive to achieve is unobtainable then you will achieve everything in striving for it.
Any basic coaching says, "make reachable goals" and believe me, it sometimes works to lower your bar and get excited when you reach it. However, I've recently come to a new place in perfectionism recovery, you don't have to lower the bar you just have to be okay with never reaching it.
When we set an intention and resolve to work towards a goal, we can feel like we are failing when we don't meet our self imposed expectation. When we shift our mindset to knowing we won't "succeed" and surrender to the idea that there is no end point, suddenly the pressure is off meeting the arbitrary goal.
This works for a wide range of...more
The words by Emily Christie, owner operator of FIT4MOM Twin Cities was so poignant that I had to share with you. ~Carol
My challenge to you is to listen CAREFULLY to your story and decide if it’s serving you.
Let me illustrate my point with a couple of anecdotes.
My mother has always had arthritis for as far back as I can remember. It was one of those things we knew. She couldn’t do a certain thing because she had arthritis. She knitted not only because she was good at it, but because it was also good for the arthritis. But it became MY story too. A couple of years before I turned 40, I mentioned that when it was cool and rainy, I had a hard time feeling warm. I would wear many layers, socks, slippers, etc, drink hot tea, etc. “Maybe you’re starting to get arthritis.” She said. That’s all it took. I watched my fingers for any sign of ache. I would get cold when it rained, just WAITING to get one of those magic weather forecasting joints (you always hear from the guy who broke his leg 20 years ago, “my leg aches when it’s going to rain”).
In my 20’s, I did not even own tennis shoes. I never went to the gym, did not play a sport and never, ever ran. I made a point of not running. Hobbling around on ill-fitting vintage heels with a cigarette in my hand, I was suspicious of people who exercised. I thought a commitment to exercise was a sort of moral flaw, suggesting an unhealthy obsession with appearance, rather than focusing on the important things in life like drinking coffee and reading.
Ironically, I married someone who loves to workout. He is one of those people whose knees constantly twitch under the table, itching to be powering a bike or running up a hill. Still, I did not commit to exercise. I dabbled, but mostly exercise was the thing he did while I stayed home and took a nap.
Then, I had a son, a higher-energy version of his father. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by people whose dearest joy is to stand on their heads or do feats of strength. As 40 approached, I began to feel like it was a now or never situation. I had to get in shape...more
I took my son, Neil, to the Color Run twice. He and our stroller came through the run just fine each time. At the Color Runs, there are stations every kilometer where the runners are doused with a single color of the color dust. At the end, everyone receives a color packet to throw in the air in a big colorful dance party if they wish.
At our first Color Run in 2013, my son was 18 months old. Since most of the color dust was in a cloud surrounding the stations, I just put his rain shield down whenever we approached and went through the color station. The people squirting the color dust out of bottles did not go out of their way to squirt color on the stroller runners, so you could easily avoid a lot of color dust if you wanted. There wasn’t much color dust between the color stations. Neil fell asleep midway through the 2013 run, so I kept his rain shield down most of the time anyway.
In 2014, my son was 2.5 years old, awake and really enjoyed the run. It seemed like the color stations were a bit more controlled that year. I had to actually ask the color...more
Sometimes I hear this, especially when a mom stops working and the household is a single income household.
“We can’t afford it”
Sometimes the wife/partner takes it upon herself to find areas to save money. She’ll look to save it by skipping that fitness membership. “Saying things like walking is free, I can do that.”
Sometimes as moms and no longer income earners in our household, we take it upon ourselves to eliminate what can help us be healthier, stronger, more connected moms. FIT4MOM isn’t just fitness that we provide, we provide community. For the cost of membership we provide an awesome workout (just try us, you might be sore the next day), your children will have playmates, after every class is a playdate (it’s not on the schedule but that’s what we do—grab a coffee after our workout and the kids play. If you have a baby, you’re just drinking coffee and chatting). There is a weekly craft. Yup, you don’t have to buy a bunch of stuff, our playgroup captain gets everything prepped and ready. (We know you’ve been meaning to make that footprint card for...more
We like to keep Stroller Strides and Stroller Barre a safe and happy place so we've got a couple of quick guidelines that we like to follow at all our locations to be consistent and keep everyone in good spirits.
1. Cleanliness is friendliness! Pick up after your babies or help a mama out and lend a hand by picking-up fallen snacks and wrappers. It's easier to pick up a goldfish cracker before it's rolled over by a stroller.
2. Be aware of others around you. When stopped at a station or at a cardio burst break, listen to the instructor on keeping a tight formation and stay close to any nearby walls. Instructors will cue you how she wants you and your stroller situated. This allows walkers, bikers, etc to move easily around us and allows all mamas to see what's going on. Stay in a single/double line when walking. Additionally, if passing walkers or other mamas, call out "passing left/right."
3. If high impact cardio is not an option, make sure you push yourselves with your walk - our cardio intervals are designed to torch calories by raising and lowering your...more
Want to thank all the mamas who participated in the Charity Miles Marathon Month. It was fun way to get motivated and stay running/walking in Michigan during the times when we would rather curl in our blankets instead of lacing up our shoes.
This wasn't just about running. It's about being active, about giving back just because you are active. I hope you participated with walking, running, and/or biking that allowed us to raise $30 this month. We contributed to the overall $2570 to FIT4MOM national team.
It's not too late to join. While the marathon month challenge is over, your walking, running and cycling miles can still add up. See fellow FIT4MOM Ann Arbor participants by joining @F4MAnnArbor team.
Charity Miles is a free iPhone and Android app that enables people to earn corporate sponsorships for charity while walking, running or biking. They are supported by awesome companies like Humana, Johnson & Johnson, Timex Sports, Chobani and Kenneth Cole. Good article is on...more
As we embark on February, it’s a month associated with Valentine’s Day. I see lots of Valentine’s Day-hating and I’m always struck by it. I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day. As a child, my father would leave a card and a small box of heart-shaped box of chocolates and conversational hearts on the dining room table so when I woke-up it would be there. There would be a giant heart-shaped box for my mom. Ever since I’ve gone to school, I’ve send out Valentine’s Day cards. I’ve made them and I’ve bought them. As an adult and a mom, I enjoy making them with my children and have even volunteered in my children’s classroom to make Valentine gift boxes and cards.
For this month FIT4MOM Ann Arbor is having a COUPLES Challenge. I told my husband and he said, “Really? No one likes challenges.” That surprise me as much as people disliking Valentine’s Day! I hope all my kind readers disagree with him.
Not all of us are coupled up. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy doing a couples challenge. I know people whose children are the love of their lives and navigating this world together....more
This is my running motto- I RUN BECAUSE I CAN. Those who know me, know I really don’t like to run. Yup! That’s true. When I tell people I don’t like to run the question comes, “so WHY do you run?” I do it because I physically CAN do it. My girlfriend Carol had stumbled from a few steps of her mother-in-law’s porch— so badly that it shattered the bones in her ankle and foot (the doctor said he's only seen cases like that in car accident. eweeee-oweeee!) and she was in wheelchair and rehab for months! She worked so hard to gain mobility and strength to walk again! Even after recovery, one of the things she is NOT able to do is run. That was the real game-changer for me. I thought long and hard, what if I couldn’t run anymore. I also had two friends injured (one from hip pain and another from bursitis) and weren’t able to run for nearly a year. Running is something I don't like to do but the idea of not being able to just run is hard to comprehend. So each time I run, I say, “I run because I can” since I have no physical impediment.
The other thing I say when I’m trying to...more
8 Fitness TIPS When you are Breastfeeding
Congrats! You want to get back into the FITNESS after having a baby and you don’t want to compromise your milk-supply. We hear you. We don’t want that either! You’ll be happy to know that research shows moderate exercise does NOT directly affect your milk supply or quality. YAY!
1. GET THE MILK OUT: Nurse or pump milk BEFORE exercise. The main reason is YOUR comfort. Your breast might be “filled” with milk and certain impact exercises may make you uncomfortable. Having a supportive high-impact bra is helpful, even if you didn’t need one prior to pregnancy.
2. SUPPORT THE GIRLS: Invest in a supportive fitness bra. I know it’s hard to find a bra that support the girls while you do jumping jacks and want to nurse on demand. I recommend Moving Comfort’s “Fiona” bra. While it’s not a nursing bra, the fact that it has adjustable Velcro straps, it can work for nursing. It’s not the easiest to reassemble one-handed, but gives you the support and access needed during nursing. Check out the video....more